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Heel Me

The following entry shows Hilmi’s innocent enjoyment with the early circle of bloggers whom he dearly termed later as Blogsahabats. It was originally published in on February 28, 2005. The Captain is now happily retired. 








This is the briefing given by a newly appointed captain to his nervous passengers. FYI, he has just failed his maiden-voyage mission to the North Pole, and he is now ready for his second attempt to sail to the Neverland.



This is my ship. And I am your captain. Eventhough I am not a qualified one, I have been sailing my difficult life quite successfully, and I think I know the right route and can sail my ship quite more confidently now. You see, I am a retired Santa Clause, who showered people in the South Pole with my wits, who loves watching ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’.


Okay, I can see that there have been a lot of FAQs from you guys. So, let me entertain some of your curiosities now while I am not busy managing my ship. Let me start with you, a beautiful girl in white tudung. What is your question? My name? Okay, my name is Danny Hussainy. Quite a childish name for a captain, kan? Well, of course that is not my real name. However, my real name sounds and spells slightly the same with Danny. You really want to know? Okay. I can give you some clues. Since I love riddles and I am a linguistic captain, let me give you the clues phonetically.


It starts with a glottal sound
Followed by a high front unrounded vowel
Then a lateral produced with central oral obstruction
Followed by a bilabial stop
And ends with a high front unrounded vowel again


If you are clueless, never mind. I am not bothered. I would prefer that you call me a simple Danny, with no title preceded. Why Danny? I like it-lah. May be, it is because of its noble simplicity with only two syllables ending with a friendly sound. My GRO, Cekya, thinks it is sexy. Period.

Next question! Hussainy? Okay, Hussain is my late grandfather’s name. I admire his malayness and maleness. So, why is the letter ‘y’ there? I like it-lah. May be, I want to make it catchy and rhythmic with Danny, so it will happily sound like ErrA FazirA, DiA FadilA, ErmA FatimA. Why girls’ names only? er… no comment. Period.


Next question you would probably ask me is why Danny plus Hussainy, right? Now I know already. Okay, it is the significant combination of modernity and tradition, and also the cheekiness and cleverness. That is me. Hopefully.


‘A Budu Tale’? That is the name of this ship-lah. Of course, I will not allow budu to be aboard because I do not like it. Why do I put such a loathsome word for my ship? Ish… ish… ish… you are so kepoh-lah, like my sister also. But I like it. All right, to tell you the truth, I am a Kelantanese, and budu has been my parents’, grandparents’, great great grandparents’ favourite dish. In other words, even I detest it, detest it, detest it, no matter how many times I detest it, it is still part of me, and it will be here permanently in my biological DNA, forever with me wherever I sail in my life. And my life has been like budu also, unpleasant but… that’s me, I just have to accept it. It is a vital symbol of my true identity, even I loathe it. And while you are riding with me, you will be listening to lots of stories from me which are so budu in nature. More than that, I want to promote this budu to the whole world, even I am not going to taste it.


Okay people, enough questions for now. It is time to sail. Before I do that, let me present to you my honorable crew.


Deputy Captain: Jimi d’Wiser
Chief Kadam: Enigma
(Very) Personal Assistant: Lunacy
Legal Officers: Maverix, Halian and Fiz
Public Relation Officers: Awan, Adren and Taufix
International Ambassadors: Karl (UK) and Syafeeq (KB)
Guest Relation Officers: Cekya and Tatot
Secret Agents: i_mshe and Firah
Ghostbusters: Milkullah and Omar
Chef: Carneyz


Okay everybody, let’s join me in this wonderful ride. I will definitely ensure your safety. No seatbelts are needed. Sit back, or whatever suits you, and relax.


Welcome to my ship.


5 Comments leave one →
  1. lunacy permalink
    May 23, 2008 2:17 pm

    this entry is one of my fav lah !!


  2. For You To Guess permalink
    August 20, 2008 9:37 pm

    I dont get it at all! You are a TESLian and/captain? Please enlighten me. Thank you!


  3. October 11, 2008 7:18 pm

    this my fvrt…


  4. October 14, 2009 1:12 am

    am i not of the crew? sob sob sob


  5. October 14, 2009 7:34 pm

    oh my, kak yati. this must be written before we even met. i’m sure. or else you would’ve been part of the crew. don’t worry. you’ll be always part of my budu tales 🙂


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